03 April 2022

My moon.


The sun has set and risen, and for the first time in 21 beautiful, loving years, you are not here by my side.
When I'm left alone in the silence, thoughts trickle down into my heart and I wonder.
Did I kiss your forehead enough times?
Did I hug you long enough, as close to my heart as possible?
Did I cherish and treasure you properly?

Were you happy and comfortable?
Did I tell you how much I love you, maybe not with words, but with every atom of my being, every thought released into the universe?
I'd like to think so.
Every night I fell asleep and woke up to you laying next to me. How can I summarize how much you meant to me with words? You were everything to me and taught me, in only a way a lifelong companion could, how to love unconditionally, and wholly.

They said 5 years ago that you had 2-3 years left at most. But you were a fighter, and you had to see me through the worst years of my life to make sure I came out of them safely. How many times did I cry while holding you in my arms, being comforted by your gentleness and warmth? How many times did I fall asleep knowing you were watching over me? I know you still will, even after this.
You've been with me since I was 9, I gave you the name Nibbles because you always played with my stuffed animals and carried them down the stairs everywhere. You were just barely my second pet, and I was such a handful. But you filled my life with so much joy and love. I know you touched the hearts of so many of my friends, family, and even strangers. I will always love you, and I know you will always love me.
It's going to be so hard without you, you've been with me for most of my life, and we grew up together.

But I would do this all again a hundred times over. After loving and being loved by you, I know we would find each other again, every time.
You will always be my funny baby girl. Thank you for everything. I love you so, so much.

Nov 1, 2001 — Apr 2, 2022

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